Friday Feeling; Dear Mean Girl Inside Me…

Friday 16.10.2020

Fridays feel different nowadays. After being a student for six years and living a pretty unroutined lifestyle, the step into working life has brought many changes into my life.

One of them being the friday feeling! I could be lame and not enjoy it because it’s lame to live life for weekends and we should live and love every day like it’s our last and basically shame myself for working in a 9-5 job (because its so last season, according to my inner voices), but I have decided to enjoy the classic friday feeling to the fullest. It feels pretty amazing after a week to wake up to the tickling morning of a Friday, there is just something different.

In my years of studying I would have probably cried my eyes out if I could have seen to the future – me, basically betraying myself, taking the “easy” road, “just” working as an employee. Gosh Maija, you should reach for the stars and just become an entrepreneur, try anything else but not working for someone else! Sure, lets be honest, I am still very familiar with this voice in my head…

But, instead of following that voice, I have decided that I wont let it ruin my experiences. Those voices are immature and making me doubt myself, insecure about my life and ultimately, just a whiny person. There is already enough of whiners out there, so I am just asking, do I want to become one too? I could easily become one if I listened to that mean voice that finds mean and negativity in ANYTHING, but I don’t WANT to. And so, the voices in my head that tell me that it’s lame to work a 9-5 or enjoy a Friday Feeling are getting a bit old.

They are getting a bit old because;

-When I am focusing on living my life now, I am very happy.

-When I stop and reflect back and see where I am now, I am very happy. 

-When I realize what I get to do every day, I am very happy.

-When I stop listening to the mean voices inside of my head, I can really realize, that damn, I am working as a teacher and get to see the development and impact on the children every day, the highs and the lows. I am supporting myself economically. I have a job in general. I am happy doing my work and it gives me free time to do my other passions as well. And I realize… I am actually so happy! I am happy when I am focusing on my LIFE, not the voices in my head. 

Then, when misery comes into the picture it talks through some self-created expectations, and seeks to make me unhappy by shooting messages through my brain like a sniper; “You are nothing if you dont at least do this this and this”, “What youre now doing is so lame”, “Are you actually enjoying Fridays now, gosh, get a life”. Yes, it is mean. It is so mean! And when I am tired or low, the saddest thing is, I am believing that evil inside of me.

Me believing the Mean Girl Inside me making me insecure and lost and eventually not able to enjoy my life.

On the other hand, when I am not tired and not low, I can see the voice just as it is; a mean girl only trying to upset me and make me change my life forever, because it would actually never be satisfied or happy. I can even have empathy for it and let it continue its journey. 

The Friday Feeling is something I choose to cherish. Dear Mean Girl inside of me, it might seem lame to you, but I dont actually care. I have worked hard the whole week, and I am going to enjoy this freeing feeling of having the weekend ahead of me. Dear Mean Girl, I am choosing to enjoy my life instead of letting you tell me how I should live it. I am strong enough to regocnize when you are getting the best out of me, and I have the tools to stop and breath and choose another road. 

Me understading that Mean Girl Inside me just wants to make me upset and I might as well not listen to it so I can enjoy my life today because it’s pretty awesome to be alive.

Because Friday Feeling is not just about the Friday Feeling. For me it’s actually a feeling of freedom; not because of the weekend ahead. But because of the empowerment with myself; giving The Mean Girl inside its own medicine; I am nothing special, I am just a regular employee enjoying her 9-5 and fridays and free weekends, and that has the power to make me happy. To the mean girl nothing would be enough anyway, so I might as well start enjoying my life already. Not asking the Mean Girl for permission, but letting it be. That way, I can see; I am already happy.

Plus, today is Friday.

xx

Maija

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.